Sleepness Nights...

So, I started the last blog about how I was SO stressed out. And then, just like in real life, I got distracted and went off onto another subject ENTIRELY! Those that know me in person, have to love that about me, since there’s no changing it now…

So we left off at how stressed I was at work, moving into our new house (new to me and Lil’ CC, anyway) and just doing too much in general. I’m also kind of stressed about the wedding. Not that there’s really anything yet to BE stressed about, but I think that I feel pressured for there to be something to stress about. Like I would feel like I was making more progress on the whole wedding thing if I was actually making progress of some kind.

I have lots of ideas for what I want, just haven’t had the time, energy or extra $$ to put towards the down payments on my vendors like I should be doing with the holidays just ending. Hopefully all of that will change soon. Work is getting better, I got a big promotion yesterday and the holidays are over. (You know that Christmas is over when you go into HEB and see the Valentine’s Day stuff out…)

So the only other thing that’s really wrong with me now is that I’m tired. And not just a little sleepy – I’m dead tired on my feet all of the time. I realize that a portion of that tiredness is related to how many long hours I’m putting into this project at work, and that’s slowly getting better – I’m aiming for only 50 hours this week! I just haven’t had time to sleep. And when I find myself with extra time to sleep, I can’t sleep. Too much stuff going around my head about what I should be doing other than sleeping, you know? Thinking about the wedding, which vendors I want to use, worrying about the project at work, thinking about what I didn’t get done today that I need to make SURE to do the next day, wondering if I packed up my extra hair dryer and brought it over yet, and worrying about what all I have left to get out of my apartment….the list is endless and it seems to go on and on. Anyone out there ever been that way? Be honest…I know that you have.

So if by some miracle I get past all of that crapola and manage to get comfy and fall asleep, I’m still not sleeping good. Partly because even though my body has shut down, my mind hasn’t and I proceed to dream about work, marriage, wedding or moving. And partly because of my future husband. Love you to death honey, but you have to admit that neither one of us has been sleeping good lately.

You see, he snores. Not just a little, but like tear the house down snores. Just kidding. It’s not that bad, and he does everything that he can do to make sure that he doesn’t snore. And we’ve worked out a good system. He starts out on his stomach, sometimes wears the anti-snoring strips and if he does manage to roll over onto his back to trim a few trees, I have ear plugs on my side of the bed. And I honestly don’t mind wearing them. You see, it’s not all his fault. I’m a REALLY light sleeper. I can wake up at the slightest little noise. And with all the things that are vying for attention in my head, once I get woken up, I’m awake. And it takes me forever to fall back asleep. So if I manage to fall asleep to light snoring, once I get woken up (by bigger snoring or whatever) I can’t go back to sleep. So the earplugs seemed to solve all of our problems. Combined with what my fiancé would do to lessen the snores, it worked fine.

Until he’s gotten all stressed with work stuff too. The earplugs work great with the noise level. Unfortunately, they don’t do anything about the twitching, jumping and general flopping that is occurring in the wee hours of the morning. He starts off nice and calm, relaxed and motionless. But about 3am or 4am, the movements start. And since I like to sleep cuddled right up next to him, I get woken up when all of this starts. I devised a simple enough solution right away, being the smart girl that I am…I moved over. But you know what? It’s cold on my lonely side of the bed. Coupled with the fact that I’m now awake enough to move over, and then I’m cold because he’s not right next to me, the thoughts creep right on in and you can kiss my good night’s sleep bye bye! I just can’t seem to win.

Until last night. After venting my frustrations yesterday and finally telling my fiancé about the flip flopping keeping me awake (I really didn’t want to tell him - he feels so bad about the snoring thing already!), he did the sweetest thing for me. He knows how tired I am, and he vowed that he wouldn’t move all night long. Or at the least, he would NOT flop over back and forth. Rolling is preferable, as one of us doesn’t nearly get launched off of the bed mid flop, but it’s hard to remember that when you’re as heavy a sleeper as he is. I honestly don’t think that he got one wink of sleep. I slept sans ear plugs all night long, and he didn’t snore, twitch, jerk or anything. And there was definitely no flopping. He rolled over a time or two, but it was done so slowly and carefully, that I seriously don’t think that he slept! He MUST love me…that’s making a huge sacrifice for me to be able to get some sleep. When cornered about it this morning, he promises that he did get sleep, but I don’t know that I believe him….

Just one more reason why I love him SO much…I hope that he knows how much I appreciate all of the little things that he does for me on a daily basis to show me how much he cares. I know it’s not much, but it means the world to me!